fabulositi(na)

How I Spent February 14th

2012-02-16T12:49:00.000+08:00

I guess I could say it was memorable.

My standby started at 3am on February 14th. Wasn't too thrilled about the standby time, but I get no choice. So like it or not - I had to endure it.

The company's going through shit lately, and everyone's roster is basically ... well, shit. So few colleagues have been expressing their woes about roster being loose and no call-ups for standbys.

I thought for sure I wasn't going to get called up for flight. So there I was playing Plants vs. Zombies up til 3am then I got the dreaded call from Crew Deployment Centre (CDC).

Selamat pagi, Christina, ni standby call-up yea. Single nightstop Jakarta. Reporting 0710, departure 0840. Nanti saya arrange untuk transport. Tapi you double-check and call after 1/2 hour lah ya.

Took down the details of my flight and proceeded to call transport straight away to which I got a cryptic reply of: Belum ada detail you lagi. Call balik dalam 10 minit.

10 minutes later: Sorry lah, system down. You have to proceed to airport yourself.

O_O!

I only had rm18 in my wallet! Didn't occur to me to get any cash the night before as well.
So there I was, trying to fish out as many spare change as possible, just enough for me to pay for a cab ride to the train station and then the train ticket to KLIA. Managed to get a cab at 6am (cos anytime earlier than that would be 2x the price) and paid rm3 for the cabride to the train station. Had to hoist my trolley bag AND my garment carrier up the stairs cos the FREAKING ESCALATOR AND AND LIFT weren't working. And it was A LONG WAY DOWN the stairs. I was huffing and puffing in my kebaya (at this point I didnt care that my kebaya was flapping away) and when I finally got on the platform, the 0610 train just left. I MISSED THE FREAKING TRAIN BY ONE MINUTE!

Had to wait another half hour for the train. Of course, I wouldn't be able to make it to briefing on time. But no worries, since I was called-up anyway, my LS surely wouldn't mind too much.

When I actually got to the airport and signed-in and saw the name that appeared on the screen. HOLY CRAP came to mind. No wonder I got called up. I was flying with one of the Top 10 LS.

It was gonna be one helluva flight.

My expectation was correct.

I cease to elaborate more cos the mere thought of what happened just makes me angry.
Let's avoid unnecessary anger.

Let's just say - February 14th this year was ... memorable. Not in a good way.

It's Been A While

2012-02-08T11:35:00.004+08:00

I've been caught up with life. Love.

Well mostly Love.

There has been SO many changes in 2012, it's amazing. I cant seem to fathom that it's halfway through February already and so much has happened.

Not so much about sharing it out in the open these days. I mean, if you're significant in my life, I'll let you know. And if people know, they know.

I was sick for a week - 3-4days of high fever, phlegm-y coughing fits, sore throat, toothache, lost voice - you name it, the whole package. Even now, my voice is still on the verge of making a comeback. I was miserable for the first few days, cos I was all alone with no one to turn to (well, actually its my egoistical self that never wants to ask for help) up til he came home. He took care of me ~~too~~ SO well that I actually recovered faster (if I were to self medicate myself).

I think he's the secret to my speedy recovery. He's my sunshine in a bottle, my lovedrug that keeps me goin. He makes me smile all day, inside out.

I am truly madly deeply happy and that's the only thing I want the world to know.

I thank God for bringing me so much happiness this year, and gave me a person that brightens every and each day of my life.

2 0 1 2

2012-01-07T00:24:00.002+08:00

When the clock struck 00:00, I was in a place I never thought I would be. Fireworks were heard, not seen. Cries of "Happy New Year" were heard but I wasn't apart of it.

I was sitting outside looking in at someone that made my new year a very memorable one.

No regrets in 2011. Cos without 2011, there wouldn't be 2012. I wouldn't be where I am right now. So a toast to 2011, you were great. Now to 2012, let it be greater.

Beautiful Together

2011-12-23T00:31:00.000+08:00

I remember once, we stood in front of the mirror, with you hugging me from behind - you said:

"Look at us. We look so beautiful together."

Second Guessing

2011-12-20T08:45:00.000+08:00

I'm at the happiest of happiest right now, but I still second guess myself somedays.

Did I do the right thing?

Undoubtedly you make me so happy, I could spontaneously combust from the feeling. But there's always this uncertainty that lurks in the corners, sneak up on me, when I'm not paying attention.

As The Saying Goes

2011-12-14T12:40:00.001+08:00

... this too shall pass.

I'd like to change that to ... This too shall LAST.

I realize, you and me, we're good together.

Stress!

2011-12-07T17:45:00.001+08:00

In Pursuit Of Happy-ness

2011-12-06T15:59:00.001+08:00

Dec 6th.
Six years ago, we bid you goodbye Hannah. I remember each detail of the day vividly - and its not one that I would want to relive ever again. The heartbreak of losing a sister and a bestfriend is absolutely indescribable.

Photo taken during our annual Genting Getaway. The last that we'll ever have together. Oh how ...... chubby we looked.

There's no point being sad, really. I understand that notion now. Cos I know, you're in a better place, and God loves you so much and He wants you to be with him right then. You've lived your life to the fullest, you've run the race, you've fulfilled all your purpose on this earth. That is why, you belong in Heaven, with Him and among the rest of the beautiful people.

Every year, I reminisce about you to someone on this very day, and without fail, tears do flow. It's inevitable - talking about you and tears seem to come hand in hand. But at the same time, I try to find happiness. And I'd to tell you, my dear Hannah, on this very day - I've found my happyness.

If you were around, you'd be the first one I'll call to tell you all about it.
I miss you. So much.

Love always, Tina.

Frazzled

2011-12-04T09:46:00.001+08:00

Before leaving for work yesterday afternoon in Brisbane, I was in a heated conversation which spiraled outta control. My mind was haywired. I couldn't take the obligatory nap I'm supposed to before a 8-hour midnight to morning flight.

My mind was elsewhere, and I couldn't perform my best. I felt like my brain was at my knees! I kept bumping into things, I kept mixing up service procedures. I am battered and bruised everwhere. I got a cut at my wrist, and skinned my forefinger. My fingers were slammed in between the lavatory door AS WELL AS the waste bin flap. Under my pretty pink gelnail polish, I can forsee (feel) a very blue nail underneath.

The crew was a joy to work with - everyone was so pleasant, I loved the conducive working environment. If Airbus flights were more like this all the time, I wouldn't mind mutual-ing my domestic flights for Airbus at least 3-4 times a month.

Ok, who am I kidding - I am not that dedicated.

Anyway - I'm too tired of thinking about the shit that went on yesterday. All I know is that in my mind, on my part, there's no salvaging of the situation. It's the end of that chapter. Like it or not, take it or leave it - I've already made the final decision.

I'm leaving and I'm not looking back.

Secret Smile

2011-11-29T01:52:00.001+08:00

The mere thought of you makes me smile.

I know I don't say it that much, but yes, I miss you.

Opportunity

2011-11-23T22:47:00.001+08:00

Why didn't I just spit it out when I could last night?

Cos I'm chicken shit.

I have to suck it up and face the music.

Emotional Fuckwittage

2011-11-09T19:56:00.000+08:00

... as Briget Jones would say.

Spent the time paxing Kansai-KL re-reading Briget Jones diary. And now am obsessed with downloading it to watch.

I am going through some emotional fuckwittage of my own. I don't know what to do with myself these days. Find myself starring off into nothing plenty of times. Especially when I'm not preoccupied. And when I find myself starring off into nothing, there's this feeling inside of my chest that grows ... like pain - maybe more aptly to be said as 'ache'. It hurts, but its heavy. And you feel sorry for yourself for feeling that way. Sometimes I find myself on the verge of waterworks, but I get myself to hold back - blinking profusely away.

When will this ache go away?

God, can You kiss it and make it all better? I know I havent talked to you in a while but please ... please make it all better. I can't live like this . . .

Stress Free

2011-11-05T10:03:00.000+08:00

Life's too short to spend stressing out. I read somewhere and I quote : "Stress is not a feeling. It's just something the human mind makes up when it's frazzled."

Resolution : To live life a day at a time, see how it goes - not needing to worry cos I know the Lord has plans for me.

And now, His plan is for me to go get ready for WORK!

Homemade Is Always Best

2011-10-26T01:38:00.000+08:00

Felt like dozing off a few half hours ago ... But I think my homemade Strongbow is equivalent to my caffeine fix. Wonders what adding Zapple to Carlsberg can do, uolz!

I was jet set on pounding the heck out of my keypad typing out a heartfelt meaningful deep post butttttttttttt - I shall refrain from doing so at the current state I am in to avoid babbling about stuff that I shouldn't be babbling about.

Bai!

25th

2011-10-20T23:57:00.002+08:00

Just a few minutes till 20th of October slips by ...

I thank God that I'm able to live to see my 25th birthday (oh God this sounds like I was down with some terminal illness), and I feel truly blessed to be able to have a job that I actually love and enjoy - which earns me money that I can spend ~~until I'm left broke each month~~ on spoiling my family and friends.

At 25, I cant say that I've done it all. I believe that it's just the beginning of more great things to come. I cant wait to face new challenges and add to my collection on memories and experiences.

Happy Birthday to me!

Last Day of Being 24

2011-10-19T19:22:00.002+08:00

I'm tired. There's so much drama in life right now - I wish I could put everything on pause right now, step back and just see everything from out of my body.

Pushing that all aside, I love the fact that I'm being home - I don't want to be anywhere else. I love that I have my parents just near, the familiarity of my surroundings, the comforts of home that I cant/wont get anywhere else.

What I don't like is this aching feeling I have in my heart. Something so heavy weighing me down. I should be feeling excited that it's my birthday, but yet I feel the complete opposite. I feel like going to bed right now, hiding under the covers, turn off my phone, and fall asleep and sleep all day till it passes me by.

What a way to start off a birthday.

Tear Us Apart

2011-10-17T16:39:00.001+08:00

Didn't know a Malaysian singer could sound so good. Altho I totally disagree with her coif - I still like this song very much. And who's the hot featuring artist? He cannot be Malaysian, can he? He does resemble the FO that I worked with this morning tho. Double-life? No idea why I'm questioning to many things so friggin early in the morning. Especially with no sleep for the past ... 16 hours? I've been awake for 16 hours yo. KL - Bangalore - KL. Stupid flight, if you tell me. Of course, it brings in profits for the company cos the flights are always full, but I do wish that the pax were a little -just a teeeeeeeeeeny- bit pleasant.

In addition to having to work with and cover for a new Bollywood crew who was super blur about his duties and checks - we also had to endure the grueling demanding pax who were somewhat on crazy pills. I think I got shouted at about three times by THREE different people throughout the flight. Whoa. Gotta be a record.

*

Coming back to the Malaysian singer I was talking about ... apologies for the trailed ramblings about pax kurang hajar kurang molecule otak. Nadhira belts out a pretty awesome tune that's been stuck on repeat shuffle on my mp3 for the past two days. Who knew the lyrics could be so apt.

Some part of the lyrics:

Dont know if this feels like the right thing
Tell me to do where do I begin
Dont know where to start
Should I let you in my heart

One touch, one kiss
I've never felt a love like this
I pray I wish I can have this forever

Boleh tahan la jiwang juak lah lagu tok, but I cant get it out of my head. Well, that and Selena Gomez's I love you like a love song baby! BWAHAHA!

Just woke up after a 4 hour nap. I think 4 more hours would be just fine and dandy right now.

Currently Recurrent

2011-10-15T21:58:00.002+08:00

So the only thing I have to go all out ONCE a year for the sake of keeping this job is my SEP (Safety Emergency Procedures) Recurrent. Means that once a year, you get thrown into a mixed class of 20 people and you're refreshed about safety and first aid procedures. It's kinda a drag but when you're in a class of 20 crazy people who actually can get along, it's not too shabby.

Ever since I left college, the brain has been more than a little bit rusty - I thank GOD for the three years I did law cos it did aid a teeny bit in memorizing facts with catchy acronyms. "Sharing is caring" helped too! *nudge nudge wink*

Annnnnnnnnnnnnnyway. It was a whirlwind of three days. I managed to spend quality time with my two fav fav bathmates Fird and Azril, who were keen on feeding me non stop just because both of them have put weight and they wanted me to be in the same boat. Which would perhaps sink if the three of us were in it right now. I love them to bits! I wish we would grow old and become IFS together. WAH! DREAM SO BIG SO HIGH!

I'm plenty tired, cos unfortunately (I don't have the luxury of having off day after three days at training school like the rest) I had to work today. Pax on the returning sector were super demanding, it didn't even help that I got hit on by two guys. I would be flattered if they were the least bit attractive - UNFORTUNATELY, er. Unfortunate-ME lah. I was super rolling my eyes the whole returning sector cos passengers were NOT PLEASANT AT ALL! I swear someone shoved me on the back when I was walking up the aisle but I didn't turn around immediately to look cos I was attending to another pax up front. If I caught who shoved me, I wouldve dragged the pax by the hair and flush his head down the super strong 738 flusher toilet. The set was super awesome tho - its a shame that its only a daily flight. That was the only upside to the whole day.

Okeh, sekian. Malas fikir. Pingsan dulu! Chow.

12 More Days

2011-10-08T00:46:00.001+08:00

... to me officially turning 25.

I've come up with a list of gifts I wanna get for myself (OR OR OR if anyone else wants to get them for me oso can bah plstengkiubai! *nudgenudgewinkwinkHARDnudge*) - which includes bedroom items (eh not in a kinky way lah altho furry handcuffs would be much welcomed! KIDDING!), electronic toys (again ... not kinky. yes, I know you're thinking it NO I DONT NEED A VIBRATOR!), and jewelry ( no, I dont mean jewelry in inappropriate places tho it may be appropriate for some - I dont judge. *wink).

HUGE chunk of this month's pay shall go to Tina's Bday Fund COZ I DESERVE IT dammit! Why am I so emo about this pulak? Eh.

I'm thinking
#New sheets I saw @ Ikea x 01 + rm159 pillows x 02
#Some electronic thingamajig I can bring for nightstops i.e. PSP Go, Tablet, etc etc
#A pair of real gold earings/studs (cos I'm allergic to everything else)
#A new dress. Or two. Or three. Or several.
#A new wardrobe to house my new dresses (heh! that's a given!)
#~~A new scent~~ Burberry Body (I am truly deeply in love with this!I wish I can shower myself with it each and everyday. Lay in a pool of it and marinate myself.)

I know there's more to that list. I've got them all jumbled up in my mind. I wish I could just spill the contents of my mind right here . . .

Okayyy I should get back to studying. My safety recurrent exams are in less than a week and I haven't even begin to flip through that massive chunk of manual yet. ARGH! Off to abuse my mind and distract myself from spending money that I haven't even got yet.

Roos and Koalas

2011-10-07T08:06:00.001+08:00

Its already been a FULL year since I joined the company. I cant believe how fast time flies! And yes, I have to sit for my recurrent exams but but buttttt a YEAR! I will get picked-on less.

I spent my 1st year anniversary in OZ - in Perth with the roos and koalas!

Okay, fine. So these are the only kangaroos that I met, but still! I was in Perth! Felt awesome to be there. I was awed by the architecture all over the city, and I love the fact that many old historical buildings are still preserved the way they are. I didn't manage to have any fish and chips at all - the single one day off day didnt permit much time for me to explore each and everything I wanted on my checklist but the awesome cool weather made up for it. It was sunny but chilly at the same time - the most perfect weather to walk around and roll on the grass on.

Told Daddy that its the best place to go and retire cos it's such a quite and laid back city, I cant imagine anyone getting stressed there!

Baby You're a Firework

2011-10-01T23:48:00.002+08:00

"You make my heart go boom boom boom."

39th. <3

Note to Self:

2011-10-01T23:42:00.001+08:00

Just be a friend.

7 Days and rm2500 gone

2011-09-30T02:15:00.000+08:00

Kuching Trip Again!

2011-09-23T01:16:00.000+08:00

Just got back from another Kuching trip - and each time I get to have such a fun set! Thank Heavens! What a way to end my trip before starting off on my annual leave. Other than having such an awesome set of crew, we also had plenty of awesome food.

Day #1:

Ayam Penyet @ Barok the Village

Fish Umai @ Barok

Day #2:

8 hours layover in Miri. What else to do but to spoil my super-makan crew with super makanan!

First mi kolok/mi kering at my most fav place - Tiong Hwa.

Then followed by Kelabit food @ The Summit

Thennnn tapau-ed lelapan @ Muara

... ANDDDD cendol @ Golden +++

Yes, all this is the span of about 4-5 hours.

And when we got back to Kuching, we had a huge seafood dinner at Topspot Carpark - thus ending our food comatose. Ended the night with the most gorgeous thing that night:

Day #3

Daytime view enjoyed from my hotel room.

Laksa for Breakfast!

Tapau-ed three-layer tea for er ... dessert (?)

And a fabulous fluffy white char siew bao just to fill my tummy before going for flight.

I was indeed in Kuching for work, but somehow, it felt like a vacation cos all we did was eat all day long. Thank God for the full flights tho - at least it warrants us a workout by default. I could feel the strain on my kebaya the whole day today - so I refrained from feeding myself anymore due to the fear of my kebaya bursting at the seams mid-service. Screw the diet I was "supposed" to have 3 weeks ago.

With thattttt - I'm off to the loo to empty my bowels cos it is indeed full to the max and signing off to take a break on my annual leave! Ciao!

Guinness Did Me Good

2011-09-17T23:21:00.000+08:00

Back from a four-day (SUPER TIRING) trip in Kuching. Sectors were crazy each and everyday but I managed to sneak in some fun in between. Paling cun, Arthur's Day was happening in Kuching and Izza dragged me over to teman her to drink! A RM10 a pint as well as being a super lover of the black brew, I had NO objections! All that chugging was an escape away from work and gave me a chance to wind down and get a teeny bit buzzed. BUT BUT BUT BUT MOST importantly, I won TWO VIP PASSES and an all expense paid stay at Palace of the Golden Horses! I am NOT KIDDING YOU FOR REALZZZZZZ YO!

Thanks to Arthur - Guinness, that is!

Proof! *proud*

This one's for you and Adam, Izza!

So Little Time

2011-09-13T17:18:00.003+08:00

The whole month has passed by oh so quickly! In August I belted out Wake Me Up When September Ends before asking a colleague to hit me over the head with a metal tray on board. All because I was dreading the new airbus flight. But now that THAT'S over with, every day seems to be going by very very very very fast.

There's just going to be 4 days in Kuching for work. A day off, one very early daily flight and then another 3 days in Kuching for work then I'll finally be OFF!

What I mean is I'll be on a week's leave to have fun fun fun fun fun! What a way to reward myself after almost a year of working my ass off.

Countdown starts NOW!

10 more days to gooooooooooooooo.

No Comments

2011-09-12T13:48:00.001+08:00

All I've heard in the past month revolves around the many changes that has been going on in the Company. It's been a super earful - I try not to eavesdrop when the supervisors and tech crew are bickering/gossiping about it, but it's difficult not to be curious about the happenings, especially when you're a big part of it. Apparently there are going to be a MAYJUH change in the company structure, there are also talks about a new branch of airline sprouting from the brainchild of Mr.T.

No one knows for sure what's going to happen, and I for one, do not like to be kept in the dark. I'm just beginning to appreciate this job and I fear it's all going to be taken away in a blink of an eye. I'm just on the brink of approaching a year since joining the company and I've not even gotten a sliver of that slice of cake that the seniors have bitten into.

I'm trying to be optimistic about it all - I refuse to comment to anyone about the speculated rumors cos I have ZERO idea about what's true or not. So its better to STFU about it and just go on my everyday routine life of eat/sleep/fly.

TYVM.

Sangat Hot

2011-09-11T22:13:00.002+08:00

Overheard:

"Sorry lah you, but I mesti cakap. Serious I mesti cakap bende ni."

"Ha? Apa dia?"

"You ... your ... Emm"

"???????"

"Sorry I have to say this ... Tapi your body sangat hot lah."

1000th Post

2011-09-07T23:26:00.001+08:00

This entry should be inspiring, no?

No. Heh.

For my 1000th post, I'd like to celebrate how far I've made it! Physically I mean.

Back in highschool I never thought of myself as fat - until a kid came up to me and poke fun at how my pits were bulging out of the sleeveless dress I wore (see how confidently slim I thought I was! Berani pakai sleeveless. So clueless and in denial!)

So here are some never before seen pictures ... I was embarrassed to show anyone these pics before but hey, without her, I wont be me!

This was right after highschool. I am the one clad in denim - gosh I really thought I was the epitome of fashion back then. Hey, I thought I was at my skinniest too! So yes, what I thought back then was all lies. Lies. LIES! All I can say is THANK YOU MOM/AUNTIES for feeding me REALLY well. At that point in life I though I've grown (in more ways than one. Mostly sideways T_T ) into a pretty fine young lady.

WRONG.

Voila! Healthier me! Dengan kasih ibu, ANYTHING is possible! Possible for me to be much much much healthier. I really thought I looked my best in this family portrait too. Been wanting to take another family portrait so that I can ~~burn~~ replace this one.

Okay, enough horrifying pictures of the past.

I grew out of the mommy-fat (I call it that cos she's the one who fed me like a goose. Still think that she was gonna fatten me up to sell me or smtg. LOL I kid I kid.)

But yadda yadda yadda, few years pass by and lo and behold ...

I turned into an INDIAN! Hahahaha I'm the one on the right (if u cant tell -_-"), flanked by my close friend Naz. Compare the pictures, biatches! I AM the ORIGINAL Asia's Biggest Loser!

Why should I feel guilty to be bragging about me losing weight? I think its one of the biggest achievement I've made so far :) (I bet this is gonna bite me back on my behind one day when I've piled on all the weight again.) Fingers crossed that I'd stay this way for a long long long long long time!

Hermit

2011-08-26T13:37:00.003+08:00

I am totally absolutely hopelessly in love with my blackberry.

I've gone through two now - the basic BB Curve, which I then traded in with the BB Torch.

It has made life easier, much more colorful. I now express myself with the multitudes of emoticons that BB has to provide.

It has given me more friends (aka BBM contacts), some which I've never met but have so much fun talking crap. I get to catch up with friends on Twitter - seeing tantrums, laughs, emotional rollercoasters, Follow and Unfollow how my heart desires. Facebook for BB is like my instant polaroid - posting pictures of food that will emit tweet replies emitting jealousy from friends.

But how I wish BB can do more than that. Be my personal assistant and get things done for me without me having to do anything. I'll just lie around while my BB does my exercise regime for me (scoff what exercise?), sign in before I go for flight, talk and reply my texts for me. Living life for me in general - cos I'm fabulous like that.

BB has made me a social hermit.

Standby 0300 - 1100 and Happy Endings

2011-08-24T03:56:00.003+08:00

I have finally found my groove - after about 7 months of work, I know how to strategize in terms on picking appropriate flights.

Today starts my 3-day standby, but I can mark off two days cos I called at 2.30am and requested for flight. I was given the option of doing the 4sector ending with a Penang nitestop and the ever so famous MC-flight - Delhi 738. At 2.30am my judgement was a tad frazzled, what not with me waking up in a haste, jarred by my ever so handy (and extremely LOUD) alarm clock - I automatically picked Penang. Somewhat allergic to the word Delhi. Only adter I got the flight details that I realized that Delhi was actually a better option in terms of allowance. /facepalm

So now I have a really stupid migraine - which is somewhat effecting my hearing slightly. I have no idea what's up with that. Let's just hope I'll be able to make it through the day smoothly and this banging up in the attic will just go away.

I've always had issues about getting massages from total strangers - so technically, I've never visited massage parlours in the past. The nearest I've gotten was a foot massage, which I couldn't enjoy as much cos it was so ticklish the whole time. HOWEVER, after working strenuously non-stop for 5 days, I've decided my body would need some good pampering. Decided to join Rory and GG for massage the whole day. What can I say - I finally popped my body massage cherry.

It's a place that they frequent in Ampang, so I had no qualms about it being shoddy/shady. Decided on a 2 hour package (what the hell, my body was screaming TIRED/PAINNN) which included a 1 hour foot reflexology and 1 hour body massage. The foot massage was okay - the China mainland girl was a tad "brawny" for me and my fragile legs are now covered in tiny bruises here and there :'(

I quite enjoyed the body massage, although I was VERY surprised when she told me to flip over and massaged my ... chest 0_O In my mind the whole time I was tempted to say "Happy Ending?" and the thought just made me laugh out loud. Do they even have Happy Endings for women? /ponder

Anyway, I walked out feeling not relieved - I thought I'd need to sleep it off in order to feel rejuvenated the next day. Told Rory that I finally feel for roti canai. Cos I finally know how it feels like to be stretched and kenak hempuk and flatted and pressed. Woke up the next morning with a pretty sore back and shoulders.

I don't think I'll be back for anymore body massages any time soon.

Funny

2011-08-22T14:02:00.001+08:00

... how you twist words around and put the blame on me.

But yet, I'm still intrigued. Peculiarly so.

Terrified

2011-08-16T09:56:00.004+08:00

I am absolutely terrified with new things.

Today I am going to attempt to apply for a credit card. God forbid - I'm nervous as hell! Why? You'd wonder why a thing as simple as a credit card application would scare someone who's supposedly "adult" to procrastinate it as long as possible? I'm trying to figure that out as well.

But maybe my feelings of pure fear is also initermixed with the my fear of operating the new airbus tonight at midnight. I have a massive headache - the type that hurts with every move I make. I am thinking of going to the Docs and attempting an MC. Yeah, that's me chickening out. If I DO attempt an MC, I'd be put on standby for the next day. Hell, I'd probably be called up to do some crappy airbus flight as well. Haha

Reason for chickening out - fear of the unknown. Terrible terrible phobia that I suffer from. Cenophobia - fear of new things. Christina Ceno. I should legally change my name to that.

It's almost 11 and I should be getting ready to go to the bank. Initially set my alarm at 8.30 am to get up and be first in line at the bank but I snoozed it all up to 10am. Ugh. SUCK IT UP TINA!

And GROW UP.

/kicks self in the butt

Growing Up Overwhelmed

2011-08-11T10:56:00.002+08:00

I really am helpless. I don't have a clue how to do alot of things. I procrastinate alot - but when time comes around and I can't avoid it anymore I just take a plunge and with gung-ho attitude and (faked) overconfidence, I'll just go ahead.

All throughout life you've got family and relatives doing everything for you, but at a point in life that stops and you're forced into independence. You get kinda lost, you wish you have family here at this point to help you do the dirt, but your "grown-up" ego stops you and you put ur feet in testing the water to see whether you'd manage or not. Sometimes there's no time for testing the waters, you'll just have to take the plunge and see the outcome.

I hate the unknown, therefore I abhor surprises. I don't like situations where I have to guess what's going on cos the pessimist me has the tendency to think of all kinds of situations and worst case scenarios always ALWAYS come up in my wild runaway imaginations.

Being on your own leaves you vulnerable to being independent and lots and lots or surprises that leaves me very much overwhelmed all the time. And that's what I step back, take a few deep breaths, and ...... procrastinate. I never want to admit that I am scared of doing certain things, and that I still have a painfully shy side that kicks in at the most inappropriate times.

So I kick myself in the ass and remind myself that I have to GROW THE HELL UP.

Sick In Incheon

2011-08-10T10:43:00.003+08:00

Had a six days trip qhich included a double Incheon, but couldn't enjoy it to the max cos the above happened. On the way from KL to Incheon I got super sick on the flight - couldn't stop puking and berak-ing the whole way. Upon arrival I was immediately admitted to emergency ward at the aiport hospital. Spent the rest of my offday in Incheon sleeping the day away :(

Sucks that I had came down with some stomach infection while everyone else went out and shopped in the nice Korean summery weather :(

But yala yala yala - I'm better already. At least I got to eat my favourite :

Kimchi jiggae!

I know the doctor told me to stay away from spicy foods and only stick to soups ... But this IS a soup! I just ignored the spicy part.

Big Spender

2011-08-04T01:09:00.002+08:00

Who knew spending rm700 in less than 12 hours was so easy?

Decisions, Decisions.

2011-07-28T11:01:00.003+08:00

Here it comes again, another stage in life where you reshuffle and rethink your priorities and responsibilities.

I realize I'm not 18 *ouch* or 21 *MAJOR OUCH* anymore and that I do have to GROW UP *sobs* and think of what I'm going to do with my life. Perhaps at this age, it is a little late - but I've never come across an age limit to making decisions what to do in life.

Career wise, I dont know how long I'm going to last doing this. Hey - that's easy. Something I dont have to think about so much.

Personal life wise, I know a bunch of my friends are already married/engaged/have kids at this age. It makes me think if I should jump onto the bandwagon as well. Seems stupid to do things "just cuzzzz" everyone else is doing it, especially something as momental as getting hitched. My parents don't talk about it. My (married) friends say "don't do it" until you're VERY (very very very very very) sure you're done enjoying single life. And .. the rest of the world echoes that.

Financial wise, yes - I'm starting to save up for whatever not - rainy day/family/my OWN family/a hummer(berangan much?) /a few acres of land to develop a farm (??) and maybe to buy an island and name it after myself (!!!). Gosh, savings. Budgets. The idea is so foreign to me. I cant even decide whether I want to get full cream milk or low fat milk for breakfast!

Religiously, yes, I'll admit I've not been attending church regularly due to the constrains of my roster but I still know my values and and the teachings I've been brought up with. I have constant "talks" (prayers lah) with God about things I'm unsure of but sometimes I wonder if I'm doing it right.

Mating Season

2011-07-19T14:34:00.003+08:00

Adakah musim mengawan sekarang?

Why do I keep meeting lelaki2 yang sungguh ................ (please insert expletives here) these days. Especially at work?

I realize I am not HOT (although in my head (on good days) I do) and I have plenty beautiful colleagues out there. I am in the industry of gorgeousness, and though I belong, I pretty much think I am among the lesser looking ones. But kenapa jadi mangsa keadaan? Or maybe they think: She's not that pretty, so she must be desperate!

AND JUST BECAUSE I AM NOT GORGEOUS DONT THINK I'LL FALL FOR THAT! Ingat aku paloi ka apa. I wasn't born yesterday.

Hish.

***

Lastly

I will not waste my time on those who don't spend time with me.

Apa Serita?

2011-07-15T01:08:00.001+08:00

Tidak ada serita. Posting for the sake of posting.

Initially I wanted to write a long lengthy entry on (*$!!($*!&$) supervisors at work. But I decided against it cos it'll just make me panas hati = type deras2 on the keypad = keypad rosak = cant type = cannot online = SAD TINA.

So instead, I'll save the bitching on another day when I'm feeling grammatically intellectual. I think my vocab has decreased (possible?) and be limited to short forms that I frequently use at work. Daya ingatan pun tidak lah sehebat mana.

But but but what I HAVE learned is a VARIETY of languages to say Good morning/afternoon/evening/Thank you/how are you/chicken/fish/rice/noodle/juice/tea/coffee.

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls and Enrich members, THAT is what my vocab is limited to these days! *claps furiously*

Apa Serita?

2011-07-15T01:08:00.000+08:00

Tidak ada serita. Posting for the sake of posting.

But but but what I HAVE learned is a VARIETY of languages to say Good morning/afternoon/evening/Thank you/how are you/chicken/fish/rice/noodle/juice/tea/coffee.

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls and Enrich members, THAT is what my vocab is limited to these days! *claps furiously*

Homesickness

2011-07-13T19:35:00.002+08:00

I miss home. There, I admit it. Of course there's always a haven here (Rara's HQ) to me to run back to when I get homesick but it's just not the same. I miss Miri like crazy. I miss the beach. I miss the rojak, the kolo mee, the meatball soup ... EVERYTHING LAH!

It doesn't help that my company has decided to cancel nightstops in Miri from next month onwards! *shrieks in despair pulls hair* To think that I haven't even been rostered to do any Miri nightstops since I've started flying! How sad :( I guess I'm just going to take all the opportunity I have during offdays to fly back to Miri and spend it with le familia cos I know there aren't any "free" opportunities to do so anymore.

I miss Mum and her cooking. I miss Dad's rambling. I miss my brother's company. I miss my friends there. Let me see if I can squeeze in a visit during my three days off this end of the month. I'm homesick. I can't believe after being here for almost 5 years, I'm finally feeling homesick.

Attention

2011-07-08T20:46:00.002+08:00

I guess there's no point looking for attention if you're not getting any.

Pictas

2011-07-05T19:31:00.002+08:00

Mall of Asia - Biggest mall in Asia (?) in Manila

Missing the beach back home. Pasay City, Manila

Was sick in Incheon.

It was LOVE-ly in Taipei.

Just some perks of the job.

Dry

2011-07-02T22:39:00.003+08:00

You take and take and take,

And I'm such a fool to keep giving.

Feeling used and abused,

But yet I'm still giving

You're gonna drain me out

When I still am figuring out

What this is all about.

.

2011-06-30T15:53:00.002+08:00

I'm not a writer, never aspired to be.

I once aspired to be an architect but that never panned out cos Mathematics and me - we're not a match made in heaven. I then redirected my path to becoming a successful lawyer - but I soon found out spending time in a sea of black and whites the rest of my life isn't too interesting. Long hours tire me, reading (which was once a passionate pastime) became a dutiful chore. I no longer find interest in picking up a book (fiction or non-fiction or even chic lit *gasp!*) and spending time to fully immerse myself in imaginations. Reading law has ruined all kinds of leisurely reading for me - including even my monthly Cleo. I cant even get myself to read through the entire magazine, but I still buy them just for the sake of.

So here I am, in this "career" if you could call it that ... I have no idea if I have changed in the past six months since starting this job. I wish I could have someone vouch for that. Perhaps I've become more antisocial ... I find myself alone more than ever. There's no time for romance, just quick touch and gos. Everything is always in a rush. I cant entirely say I love it, but I dont hate it either. The money is good. It gets me by. Proud to say that I've managed to live almost a whole year without money from anyone.

Why am I recycling what I've been saying for the past few months?

I guess another side-effect of the job : I'm getting boring.

BORING.

Contented/Unsatisfied

2011-06-21T14:56:00.003+08:00

The two are the complete opposite.

I am at the crossroads of both. Can life me content but still not fulfilled at the same time?

Airport Standby

2011-06-15T10:50:00.003+08:00

I've never been so thankful to have been called up for my standby to have a Delhi nightstop with the craziest set ever.

We had too much fun. TOO much fun and we didn't even leave the hotel!

You have to be thankful for call-ups like this (even when you have to sacrifice one of your off days and have only ONE more left to recuperate from Delhi flight. More specific, the passengers -__-). I AM still trying to recuperate. But I still have to go for my 6 days trip today. Taipei baby! No way I'm giving this one up.

Gotta go get ready! Taaaaaaaaaaaaa!

5 Days

2011-06-08T14:17:00.004+08:00

The more time you spend with strangers in a closed environment, the more things you find out about them. Good things, bad things, weird things, unexpected things.

He's telling me that my posts are centered about my career these past few months. But isn't that what I should be writing about? Things that are currently going on in my life? Everyday is work work work. Leaves very little for other things ... Cos I'll probably be writing about getting up at noon, playing Baking Life on FB, watching the Food Network, and not showering until evening cos there's no one at home to smell good for. That's literally how I spend most of my offdays. I'm too lazy to go out and make a date to go out with anyone. In a way, I only socialize during work (sad I know) mainly cos I'm paid to do so, and for the sake of everything to go well during flight.

So yes, until I get very sick of work and there's something else that's new in life, my blog posts are going to be me bitching about work, or exclaiming how great work was. I dont really care who reads this. Mainly writing for the sake of my poor memory - to remind myself what I've gone through and just to add to the pages of my life.

Pendek kata, my memory sucks.

Hey look - totally diverted veryyyyyyyyyyyyyyy far away from my title. Mmeh.

Carbonara Ala Tina

2011-06-02T17:51:00.004+08:00

Simple and fast. Carbonara, my way!

Fry the sausages (these are porkylicious btw, can substitute with chicken or whatever you have lying around in the fridge) in butter and I chucked in some chopped chillies for a bit of kick. Fry til brown then set aside to rest.

At the same time, chuck any of your favourite pasta into a pot of boiling salt water (it should taste like the sea!) and let it bubble away while you settle the other stuff.

Moving on to the aromatics - chopped shallots, onions, garlic, MORE chillies into a hot well oiled pan.

Throw in chopped bacon bits and sausages into the mix.

Get some mushroom/chicken soup mix ready in a bowl. One pack for serving of one :9

Throw in the pasta (should be cooked by now) minus the water - or maybe you could also add some of the water but not advisable since the chix/mushroom soup mix would be more than enough. You want it to be creamy carbonara. Not soupy carbonara.

Stir stir stir around.

Serve! But wait ... something's missing ...

A generous sprinkle of freshly cracked black pepper. I love my black pepper!

Now, makan! Aum!!! :9

Cookie Cutter

2011-06-02T14:48:00.004+08:00

"They're hideous! They look like they haven't been baked properly". Coach Goldsby to Will Shooster on the Glee kids.

I aint no cookie-cutter kid either. I love being wobbly and outta shape! I have more fun that way!

MC

2011-05-31T20:27:00.002+08:00

Got an MC for today. Luckily cos I dont think I would manage to work for 10 hours. Plus getting ready and going home afterwards. That's accumulatively 12-13 hours at least.

Maybe after these few months this job is finally getting to me. I'm getting tired of getting ready for work. I'm tired of getting up early. I'm tired of facing briefing, I'm tired of the routine. I guess in a way its getting boring for me already. I'm not one for routines I guess. It gets repetitive and there's nothing new to look forward to. Maybe just mean supervisors. Kidding! I love them all. Okay, that's perhaps a blatant lie. I guess I gotta do that thing to find something exciting about it each and everyday. Maybe stir up a controversy? Wah! That would be super awesome. Anyway, I'm feeling blue.

(I just noticed that I write like this at least once a month. Maybe its just an indication of PMS? I dont like to be labelled as your typical PMSy woman but that's just what I am *big toothy smile)

I think I wont last. That long. I think.I mean how long can one look hot in a figure hugging kebaya anyway? But then again, what other options do I have? Bukak cafe lah.

Day Off

2011-05-30T17:03:00.002+08:00

It's been a slow day so far. Fell asleep pretty early. Then woke up pretty early and decided to have my gel nails done. Threw in an eyebrow threading session as well. Forgot how it hurt! But nothing can beat my 4 hour pain session about 4 days ago. I think my brother was secretly taking out his agression on me.

I am about few hundred bucks poorer but at least I can say that I am contented right now. I can fend for myself, I make a living serving people but at least it "brings back the bacon" if you catch my drift.

I still got some stuff to settle - fixing Sean (soulsista's ride. Already promised since aeons ago! Heh), getting mum and dad presents for Parents Day (lol) and um. What else? Nothing else I guess.

I think I've spent enough on myself for that spontaneous splurge of insanity few days ago.

And something totally out of the topic - I need to get my flabby butt and tummy some exercise! My uniform is starting to get tight! A total NO-NO! I should stop eating. Fullstop.

But ... I ... Cant ... Resist.

HOW?

Money Minded

2011-05-22T22:14:00.003+08:00

Money.

Eventhough it can buy so many things, and make the world a better place.

But it also can bring one to ruin. It can make and break families. As well as relationships.

I'm havnig a love hate relationship with money right now. I love getting it, but I hate the fact that there's so much problems that comes with it.

I wish there was an alternative to money that doesn't cause as much trouble.

Pretty Doesn't Make the World Go Round

2011-05-21T17:59:00.002+08:00

I don't understand how some people can be so superior at all times. They feel like they're the best at everything. Just cos you've been working for more almost 10 years, it doesn't mean that you're perfect. Puh-lease.

Like yesterday and today, all I felt like doing was rolling my eyes, sticking my tongue out and scoff and all your ridiculousness.

What kind of statement is it to say that "If you think you're pretty or handsome, I wont think so."

If you're out of this world gorgeous and a totall god/goddess, its okay to scream it out to the world. Unfortunately this case isn't so. Nuff said.

Soulsista Officially a Law Graduate!

2011-05-18T22:19:00.003+08:00

Had the funnest day ever cos my soulsista Alau graduated today! It was fun to attend her convocation - I'm genuinely happy for you babe! (eventhough I thought to myself how fun it would be if I was there as well graduating together... but lets not make this about me! Tapi blog aku, so how? Cucite cucite.)

Happy Convocation Day Alau! <3

Red Velvet Revisited

2011-05-16T22:18:00.003+08:00

It's awesome having family members that can kick the Masterchef's butt any day.

The awesome-r thing is that every single person specializes in a different type of cooking so all appetite cravings can be fulfilled!

For our weekly Sunday family dinner, we wanted to have lelapan. So lo and behold - homemade lelapan (minus the picture of the fish which was still frying. I couldn't wait to gobble up all these greens with the sambal I made!). With a hearty helping of bario rice and shrimp sambal as well .. makan pakai tangan - memang puas hati!

Then today Josh made kimchi jiggae - which is one the the family's favourite - following all the Korean craze in the household. He makes it muchhhhhhh better than our favourite korean restaurant! I can vouch for it. Had three bowls along with bario rice and seaweed.

And for dessert, I made something which I havent made in years - Red Velvet cake. This has always been my ultimate favourite but due to the ingredients which are difficult to hunt down I rarely make them. Wait a minute - I think this is the SECOND attempt at making these *sheepish.

They turn out absolutely fabulous! The initial plan was to make regular sized cupcakes, but I realized that we had ran out of regular sized cupcake cups (shocker!! I've always had plenty lying around). I was happy to stumble upon some mini cups and proceeded to pre-heat the oven ... and to find out that the gas had ran out -________-"

Almost gave up making them altogether when I couldn't fit the cupcake pans into the mini electric oven but since my siblings were literally on the edge waiting for those cakes, I had to creatively come up with something.

They came out perfect! Especially after being topped with my special Vanilla Bean Cream Cheese Frosting *super noms! They look a tad Xmassy = green + red + white

Got so lazy of scooping teaspoonful amount of batter into the mini cups I gave up and put the rest of the batter into a cake pan. It turned out to be MORE delicious than the cupcakes.

Why am I so brilliant I really don't know. *perasan puji dirik sekejap

I think I gained about infinity KGs after consuming all this but I cant help it. I LOVE food too much to stop eating all this lovely stuff :D

Future Part II

2011-05-16T10:27:00.001+08:00

I dont know what I'm going to do with my life. Yea I realize its a continuation for yesterday's blabber, but it has got me thinking. Too much perhaps.

The only things that I'm certain with is my work schedule cos that's already set in stone for me. I have no choice but to go out and work. I guess it gives me comfort to have at least a part of my life planned out for me cos I'm really in the dark about everything else.

Am I gonna get married? When am I going to get married? Was talking about settling down with a set of crew few weeks back and one asked the other:

"What age do you plan to get married. Your target age?"

She answered, "26."

"How old are you now?"

"27."

I ROFLMAO. Like literally.

But then it made me think that even though some people set targets when they're going to settle down, have kids and everything, sometimes it just doesn't work out. Of course for some others, they're lucky to get it when they want it. I envy those who know what they want in life and go out and get it. Somehow I dont have much courage or strength to do it all the time - considering working life is sapping the energy out of my body mind and soul.

I can honestly say that I'm settling with what I have now - eventhough I often do dream of having more than just this.

/sadface

Future

2011-05-15T15:56:00.003+08:00

I cant see a clear future right now. Everything is just so bleak and I don't know what to expect. Plans can be made but only God decides its course.

I'm not a big fan of surprises either.

I wish my future was already set in stone but I'm not so fond of predictability as well.

There are alot of wishes that I wish that can come true but in reality I know will never come true. Ugh

Indecisiveness Strikes

2011-05-12T01:18:00.000+08:00

These few days I've been thinking hard. I've made so much drastic changes in the past few months, I dont want to jump right into the unknown. Perhaps it has done good to me - taking me to places that I've ever only dreamed of before. But it can ruin me, someday.

Based on other people's lives, I've been reevaluating my own - thinking what exactly I should be doing with it.

With age comes more responsibility.

With more money comes recklessness.

It's difficult to not spend your own hard earned cash cos well ... you earned it. The tired limbs, the sleepless nights, the smiles, the walking. I swear I've been walking all around the world for the past few months. I cant say that I hate it - I do love the fact that it takes me places, gives me opportunity to stay in nice hotels, I get to rub shoulders with some celebrities, and meet plenty of beautiful and wonderful people. It's been more of a blessing although there are bad days, but more pro than cons.

I'm thinking whether I should severe the ties that bind me to the "old life" in order to move on to the next level. A drastic cut-off entirely without any warning.

I'm terrified of the fact that I am uncertain about things that will follow. It sucks that I tend to forget to put everything in His hands regarding important things like this. Honestly, I dont know where to seek for an answer.

I've always been indecisive. And regarding this matter, the indecisiveness is ABSOLUTELY NOT helping at all.

Plus the keypad on my laptop is getting all beserk. Asking for a replacement perhaps? Hmmmmmmmmmm?

On a better note, I had so much fun on my Kuching nitestop. I managed to hangout with two of my batchboys, met old friends, and had my share of the mi kolok merah, laksa sarawak, teh c peng and green tea. Oh it felt like old times.

MNL

2011-05-03T14:06:00.001+08:00

Bye! Manila nightstop! Carik boyfriend pinoy lok! prefarably a Jericho Gonsales lookalike!

Genting Getaway

2011-04-29T00:12:00.002+08:00

Imagine having to organize and manage 13 people. You'd think it would be a nightmare.

Exhibit A: It was super awesome.

Imagine going a trip on a whim to celebrate the fact that we passed our proficiency exam. There were no plans at all up to the minute after we finished our exams. Everything was organized in less than 20 minutes, and we headed up to Genting - some still clad in office wear.

I guess the fact is that our work is all about schedules and rosters and being scheduled to do absolutely everything. So it was exhilarating to do something without any plans at all.

It's the last time that everybody will be together as a group so we didn't waste any minute apart. Eventhough we had rented out 3 rooms - we all ended up sleeping in only ONE room. That's how bonded we are to each other.

Gosh I miss them so much.

Proficiency Exam : Day 1

2011-04-25T17:19:00.002+08:00

Absolutely great to be back in the academy once again with all my batchmates. As soon as I set foot into the much loved cafe - the atmosphere immediately changed to how it was 7 months (has it REALLY been THAT long?) ago when we just started training. We're still inseparable, as usual, and some people just never change. We're all still our individual self, but all glowing with a confidence that was definitely acquired through the three months of flying.

I just love being with the bestie batchmate, as well as being near my best batchboys. I wish I could fly with them 27/7 then life would be sooooooooooo much easier.

Safety proficiency was today and I did well! A few scored 100% but unfortunately a few just missed the passing mark by one or two questions. Fingers crossed that they pass tomorrow morning so that we can proceed with our AFTERPARTY!

For now - I'm super exhausted. There's still the service book to go through - and with a fraction of only 30 questions out of the 19856026 facts, I'm guessing I still have to flip through all the pages /throws self over balcony

*chants to self* It'll all be worth it. It'll all be worth it. It'll all be worth it.

BLR

2011-04-24T22:40:00.002+08:00

With an abundance of morning flight for the past month, it was so difficult to stay awake AND be productive at the same time. But this job forces unappealing situations like so.

Had to stay awake from 10.10pm to 8am in the morning.

Thought of sleeping as soon as I arrived home but my aunt was in town from miri and its her birthday! Instead of hitting the sheets as soon as I walked through the door - I hurried a shower, and we went straight out to La Bodega Pavi for brunch.

Let's just say that the tapas NEVER disappoint. I think I had a record breaking amount of bread just to soak up all the tapas-y goodness. After Pavi, we headed to KLCC where I got the Topshop makeup I've been just waiting find! They don't have much choices, and some colors have ran out but its fun to see thr range that they offer. It's an entire collection including nail polishes! Prices range around Body Shop's prices. I got myself the Glaze, and I wanted the black Kohl but black ran out :( Next time!

I'm thinking of a new image.

...

2011-04-21T23:30:00.001+08:00

...

too damn tired kthxbye *snore*

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Ni Hao!

2011-04-19T02:00:00.002+08:00

Back from Beijing!

Turns out my 2nd day of standby was super awesome! I got called up to do Beijing and I had the best time ever! All the crews from the big boss to the supervisors were totally awesome and fabulous, and I learned so much. Sorta a crash course but I'm glad I went through it. Came out with some bruises (but again, what new?) and some broken n chipped nails (I will never ever bother with manicures anymore) and very exhausted tired body.

I'm actually ready to flatline on my bed right now, but I'm still using up every bit of (little) energy I have left to type and check my fb.

I've been away from the internet for more than 24 hours! Can you really blame me?

I just realized that Beijing is shopping capital for everything knock-off. I found the Channel bag that I realllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyx982145196 want so so so much! But I actually told myself not to buy it cos I wanted to get bags for my aunts instead. Now I have to wait til some of my batchmates to get trip to Beijing so I could ask them to help me buy it. I had my eye on the fushia one! :D

I should stop kicking myself for not getting it yesterday /smacks self with trout

And wo STILL bu hui jiang hua yi! Seven hours to and fro still no go with the mandarin.

Only 'Duōshǎo?' = "How much?"

and

'Jī ' = chicken / 'Yú' = fish

It'll be quite a while til I can say "Nǐ xiǎng yǒu mǐfàn huò tǔdòu yú jī?" (do you want to have chicken with rice or fish with potatoes?)

I really need one of those talking dictionaries.

It's Been 3 Months Already?!

2011-04-16T23:09:00.001+08:00

3 months has gone by? I didn't feel it go by. I miss everyone! I wonder how everyone is doing...

Standby 0300 - 1100

2011-04-16T03:28:00.003+08:00

I think I might just have overnapped yesterday.

Slept in til 1200 noon, had a late lunch, then slept again from 1500-1800. I was sleepy at midnight, planned to sleep still 0245 and wake up before the office calls me. Couldn't fall asleep so me being miss itchy called up the office myself and asked if there were any flights available.

"System down lah dik."

WTF. Padah jak malas mok carik flight k aku.

Texted another batchmate who has the same standby time as mine and she texted me back saying that she got 3day trip! To add salt to the wound - NITESTOP MIRI! $#&!^%*&!(*&U*!

Yea, jeles lah.

So now I cant fall asleep - I keep dreading the call ... I might just as well use this time to study my manual. Rather than berkerut dahi trying my best to sleep. I think I just might shower at 0400 and drive back to SA slowly.

Yea, I'll do just that.

I wonder if anyone ever HASN'T been called up to do flights? Hm. I'll only be safe at 1059. Which is about ... 6 hours and 36 minutes to go T___________________T

X_________X

Standby

2011-04-15T12:33:00.002+08:00

I hate standbys cos they give you the minimum amount to get ready and rush you all around.

Tomorrow morning (and for the next three days) onwards 0300-1100 I'll be on standby! Ugh.

I hope I get OK flights, nothing too difficult.

It's the third month I've been working and I guess the honeymoon phase is beginning to fade out into reality. I need to speed up and shape up if I wanna "stay long in the company". That's what everyone has been throwing in my face these days.

I really dont know. Really, seriously. I honestly told someone yesterday that I MIGHT rethink my options after this one year. Seeing at the rate that everyone is acting, Im not so sure. There are good days and bad days - so lets see if those good days can trump the bad days.

2011-04-13T13:54:00.000+08:00

How to stop a war?

Laters

2011-04-12T14:10:00.002+08:00

Just had my Performance Assessment a few days ago and THANK GOD that it was with a super awesome supervisor. He gave me a 90++ and I'm stoked!

First ever CPA and I did quite well.

Now back to me enjoying the rest of my off day!

PENing di PENang

2011-04-05T16:31:00.003+08:00

Gotta keep a check on my finances, cos I've been spending around like my money appears out of thin air. Granted, I do work in the air to gain my finances, but that's not the point.

I'm still "trying my best" *coughcoughcough* to be frugal, but when it comes to the matters of the tummy - no can do, there's no holds barred on how much I'd spend. Especially when I just discovered La Bodega's WONDERFABULOUS menu! Everything there is soooooooooo scrumptious! I swear santa's elves are working part time in there to bring out such magical food!

No salivating-worthy pictures tho, due to the fact that I must've left my camera charger somewhere during one of my nightstops :( I could get a a new charger, but I came across this beautiful Olympus Pen HD camera *big shiny wet eyes*. It retails for about rm1699, and I'm already contemplating splurging on it with my next paycheck. *start berangan*

But shoullllllllllllddddddddddddddddd I? SHould aiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii????

Waiting for my crispy fried chicken to be delivered to my room *wah kelassss room service!* Let's see whether it's worth the order hmmmmmmmmm and not to mention the wait! Havent eaten since morning - which was unsightly maggi goreng at the FMB's cafe. Didn't have time to eat at all cos I had FOUR rushing sectors, where I was made AC. Thank God (!!!) the LS was super fun and super nice so I had an awesome time. I manage to speed up my service as well! *fistpump*

Okay - got to devour my crispy fried chicken then take a LONGGGGGG nap! Daaaaaaaaa

When Will I Ever "Get It Right"

2011-03-31T10:12:00.002+08:00

what have i done

wish i could run

away from this ship going under

just trying to live

but everyone else

now i feel the weight of the world

is on my shoulders

what can you do

when your good isnt good enough

all that you touch tumbles down

cos my best intentions

keep making the mess of things

i just wanna fix it somehow

but how many times

will it take

but how many times

will it take

for me to get it right

can i start again

with my faith again

cos i cant go back and undo this

i just have to stay

and face my mistakes

but if i get stronger n wiser

i'll get thru this

what can you do

when your good isnt good enough

all that you touch tumbles down

cos my best intentions

keep making the mess of things

i just wanna fix it somehow

but how many times will it take

how many times will it take

for me to get it right

so i throw up my fist

throw up a punch in the air

and accept the truth that sometimes

life isn't fair

now send out a wish

send out a prayer

that finally someone will see how much i care

Anything Free Is Awesome

2011-03-28T16:33:00.003+08:00

Finally!

A hotel with FREE internet connection. Macam tauk2 jak aku bawak laptop this time around. Har har.

I'm actually very exhausted, and am absolutely DYING to take a nap, but I think I'll get myself very tired first then retire early for the evening so that I can wake up early tomorrow morning. Early flight time ya'll. And a long day as well. Phnom Penh tomorrow. Nom Pen? Penom Pen?

Okayi dunno.

I'm okay with FREE internet! :D Although I wish I brought along more snacks. I just went thru my first bag of seaweed tempura (latest crave! loveeee seaweed snacks!) in about 0.98451954 seconds. Itching to open another bag and tumble around on my king side bed, but a nap would render me sleepless tonight.

Let me see if I can distract myself with some tv programmes. Until the guy next door calls me up to go for nasik kandar. Eek.

Shoes

2011-03-24T12:58:00.002+08:00

I feel like splurging on a pair of shoes. Though they only cost about RM40. Not so much splurging, but hey - it's indecisive me you're talking about.

Buying ANYTHING is a splurge.

Delhi tomorrow, and I'm thinking maybe I should shop for some "going out and about" clothes. Preferably clothes that can be packed light. I hate lugging around heavy trolley bags. Especially after a 5-hour flight.

But let's see how the day goes. Need to study first!

Then we'll think about shoes. And shades. And bags. And -

OKAY TINA FOCUS!

Lesson Learned?

2011-03-24T01:04:00.002+08:00

Back from a 4-day trip.

It was ... eventful, to say the least. Let us not dwell on the not-so-happy-thoughts now, shall we?

There are some days where the set is so awesome you just want the day to go on and you wish you could work with them until forever. But there are some days that the set is horrible (or at least ONE PERSON) that all you do is to countdown to the time that you get off work.

I got my fair share of "lectures" but out of all of it I learned alot of valuable lessons. Got my picture taken with some "fans" (cheh baru satu gambar rasa artis!) and also had pleasant tech crew at my disposal (eh wahhh eh wah).

All in all, days spent with four (not so manly) men proved to be not so exciting as it sounds, but I truly learned alot.

Why do I keep saying that?

I feel like I have no substance. Cos actually all I want to do is rant about how the last two days has been crap. Which will be more interesting since I will definitely fill the whole paragraphs with plenty of profanity and inexcusable language.

Now, wouldn't that be much more interesting to read about? *perasan ada readers kononnya*

Ah, I'm not gonna spoil my off day dwelling on that any longer. Better spent sleeping! Ciao bella *kiss kiss*

Awhsum!

2011-03-12T10:59:00.002+08:00

It's always fun to waork alongside someone whose from the same year and just a few batches away from you! Its like an unspeakable unknown bond that brings you closer - which thus makes working so much pleasant and easier!

Three days ago I worked alongside Am from batch 7, and then just yesterday I had the time of my life when I worked with Rizal from batch 6! Had 4 sectors all together, but after the first two, the other girl had to step down because her ear hurt due to the flu. In the end we had to operate one man down in the EY cabin ON A FULL FLIGHT.

Memang koyak rabak lah kmk duak but we had so much fun! We proved that 1175 can work it work it! Managed to serve all the pax and only had ONE spillage - pax fault not mineeeee! :D

The LSS was also super fun and super cool - she looks so young and gorgeous still and I hope I'll be like that too one day!!!

I'm hyped up on so much Ferrero Rochers. Had nothing in the fridge to eat so I had like 19347915 for breakfats.

Yes, I typed breakFATS.

For Comfort & Reassurance

2011-03-11T01:35:00.001+08:00

Frustrations ... And Then Some.

2011-03-10T16:04:00.002+08:00

All these things keep happening one after another and I'm still asking God what's the lesson that I need to learn from it all.

Okay, so maybe the first one is not to be so gullible and naive and trust everyone I meet. Sucks, but its true. That's what everyone has been telling me. That and locking up my belongings at all times.

Other than that?

Perhaps its just a kick in the ass from God telling me to "GROW THE HELL UP ALREADY!"

Maybe all the complaining I've made about wanting to be independent from my parents has finally paid off? This is a way to just throwing me into the pool and teaching me how to swim?

These few weeks I've handled police reports, making a new IC, finding the JPJ (and getting lost in the process but hey, that's nothing new with me) and making a new drivers license. Going to the bank to make my own transactions.

I have realized that I can do this on my own, but occasionally I do have to beg for help for (un)willing parties. Kidding. I do appreciate all the help that everyone has thrown me. I am indebted to all of them for eternity. But I am still going round in circles trying to come up with another excuse for why all this is happening.

I don't blame God for everything. He DOES have reasons for letting all these things happen. But can we skip the intrinsic/maksud tersirat/read between the lines and get just to the point?

I'm just very frustrated. I haven't shed a tear for all the stress I've been facing, but I sure have filled my stomach with alot of stress-food. Which I now CANNOT afford cos all I have is a TEMPORARY IC AND THE FCKING BANK ONLY ALLOWS A MINIMUM OF RM300 WITHRAWAL...ONCE!!!!?????

They live in KL! They should know how much a day in KL COSTS!

Ugh.

Got Money But No Charm? Back of the Line, Honey.

2011-03-05T17:12:00.004+08:00

I admit, I tend to be superficial sometimes - I do occasionally get blinded by the shiny pretty things this world has to offer.

But, listen here honey, mentioning your Fiats and Ferraris and telling me about your driver and about you jetting here and there just for fun is not going to get my attention.

With me, its all about character and personality. Shine me over with your infectious personality, make me laugh till I cant stand up keeling over gasping for breath and charm me with your sweet self and I'm all yours.

And maybe perhaps a Venti sized Green Tea Ice Latte from Starbucks too.

Pill Popper

2011-03-05T12:39:00.002+08:00

Back from a three day trip and I have Saturday and Sunday off! How awesome. Such a rarity to have a whole weekend off with this job.

My set this time wasn't as fun as my usual daily sets. They were on the older side, so I didn't really fit it - being the new kid on the block. Tried to make conversation but they were talking about marriage and kids and all that all I could do was sit and listen and nod my head listlessly while trying to figure out where I could find Penang kueh tiaw when I arrive in Penang. But listening proved difficult as well cos my ear got blocked due to the fact that my sinuses were all blocked up.

Had to endure the pain everytime the a/c descended and I resorted to popping painkillers every few hours to minimize the pain. So yea, I'm all stocked up and filled up to the brim with painkillers, flu meds and whatnot - I feel like just lazing around and sleeping all day.

It sucks to be sick when you're working, spoils everything - your senses, your mood, your coordination. Ugh.

Doesn't help that there are annoying people around you trying their best to ANNOY THE LIVING DAYLIGHTS out of you.

Best Nya!

2011-03-01T03:02:00.003+08:00

What an awesome set today. So far the best yet. Or maybe, after 1 month of solos, I've finally found my groove?

Had two boys with me at the back and we had so much fun! I find it easier for me to work when it's only boys at the back - perhaps its the ease of me growing up with two brothers - I know how to act around them. With girls, I tend to hold back a little and be more reserved. Today I spoiled the boys with plenty of drinks that I concocted, they were willing lab-rats. Thank God everyone was still alive and no ceretberetz after the numerous drinks I force-fed them :D

It was a hell of a few days before, with me losing a huge part of my life, and having the transport not show up on time, but let us not dwell on the ohkasiannyaaku negative vibe and lets focus on the happy clappy stuff! Good set of crew, LSS (manerrr nak dapat LSS best!!) pun happening and super fun and 4 sectors flew by just like that! *snaps fingers*

But I am exhausted after my shower ... and I dont know why I'm still wasting time wanting to type this all down when half of my body is already asleep and I could utilize all that time to snooze. Oh ya, I'm typing this out cos I have the memory of a frog. Do frogs have bad memories? Well, I have the memory of any animal that has a bad memory. *Googles*

Cuba la nitestop 3 days trip with this set of crew, I wouldn't mind not one bit nope-ty nopes!

okehsotirednowkthanxbabai.

It's Been A While

2011-02-26T23:51:00.002+08:00

These days its hard to find time out with the girls.

But its not hard to please us - give us good food, drinks and a handful of eyecandy,

we're fine and happy. And very giggly.

The Yin & The Yang

2011-02-26T09:54:00.003+08:00

It was an awesome girls night out. We had dinner at TomDick&Harry and then adjourned (chewahhh) to Sid's for some Strongbow (did I tell you Strongbow rocks my boat? Hits the spot? Make me hot? - okay I think u get my point.)

Of course in the process, it all cant be happy2 clap2 all the way. Woke up and read angry texts from a certain someone ... Apologized but it doesnt seem that I'm forgiven. Tough love I guess.

I'm trying my best to make everything right again but what can I do from 09876245170 miles away? :(

U cant always have only one side of the coin. You have the ying, then yang will definitely follow suit.

Supper For Two

2011-02-25T17:03:00.002+08:00

Best supper I've had in ages. Especially when you've arrive tired and hungry and worn out. Red tilapia panggang berlumur dgn sambal, kangkung goreng blacan, fried calamari, sayap panggang and the best juice ever - AVACADO juice!

The company was top notch as well :) Thank you. :*

March's Life Schedule

2011-02-22T13:59:00.003+08:00

Next month's rosters out already! But still no nitestop in ,y beloved oiltown. I do have a couple nitestops in the Catcity tho. I think I know which party people to call up! :D

Off I go for my final nitestop this month. I'm pumped yo!

Will rant more on my life's schedule when I have the chance.

Bollywood Aint That Glam

2011-02-22T00:27:00.003+08:00

I've got a tiny taste of Bollywood and it aint that glam.

I'm always overwhelmed whenever I have to travel over the sea to a place far far away. So when I got this Delhi flt, of course, damn right I was excited as hell!

The pax KUL/DEL wasn't too bad - perhaps the fact that it was midnight when we departed sorta played down the so called annoyingness of the pax. 5 hour flt, and I managed to only sit for about 10-15 mins tops throughout. Wasn't so much cos I was busy, but cos I wanted to look busy (harus lah polah2 bz tek nak, supervisor pun ssenyum lebar tga ku lari ctok sinun nulong urang). But one thing about this flt is that the LOVEEEEEEEE their water. And their whiskey. Why dont I write in a suggestion to the catering/HR/whichever department for us to distribute a 2.5 litre bottle of water to each of the paz upon boarding? That'll shut them up for sure. Oh, I meant bottles of water. Not whiskey. Heh. We dont have enough restraint packs in the aircraft to restrain 200+ drunken pax. But all in all, the flt was okay. DEL/KUL was a whole other story. Pax were demanding like hell and my usual unstoppable smile was twitching at the corners almost all of the way. Biadap sik bertempat! Tapi siapa lah aku mok nengking balit cdak nya nak?Aku kuli jak ... barwa, bak kata instructor aku. So yes yes yes ur wish is my command bla bla bla bla bla *sambil geleng2 kepala gaya daknya*. Only highlight in that flight was the Chace Crawford lookalike *super drooool*. I suwear! I almost wanted to take a picture with him! Floppy disheveled dirty blond hair, deepset blue eyes, scruffy 5 oclock shadow - gorgeous as hell. Altho yes, Chuck Bass/Ed Westwick you will always be my one true love! *muwah* Too bad he wasn't demanding , cos I'd willingly get anything for you Mr.Crawford! *biased*

Very very very happy tho cos I got a compliment letter from a pax! Didn't really go all out or anything but I did treat them pretty well cos they were nice to me. And it was from two women so take that! *puffs out chest*

Moral of the story: Treat everyone how you want to be treated and the world will be a better place!

Let's Not Ponder Long

2011-02-15T21:07:00.003+08:00

I tweeted this morning - "Nothing will ruin my offday!"

Well, its coming to an end, and yes - there just had to be a flaw in my almost perfect day.

Rumours sure spread fast in this industry. It's even worst when it involves you. It sucks. But there's nothing absolutely nothing I can do about it to make it go away. I'm sure from one mouth to another, in about a month, I'll be super duper "glamorous" *big shiny smile flips hair*. I wont let it shake me.

Of course, I wont lie lah, initially when I heard about it, I could just feel the heat emulate all over my body. But then I figured, why should I linger long about it when I can use all this time - instead of getting a hissy fit - to study and perfect my craft? Like DOH TINA! *smacks self* So yeah, this is the end of pondering over and over about this. I'm gonna study for an hour, then go to sleep. And kick ass tomorrow.

I hold on tight to that bible verse : "As long as God is with me, no one is against me."

I'll prove you wrong, hater. You can hate on me all you want, but I'll prove you wrong.

Lord, guide me give me wisdom to deal with all sorts of people that I meet, and give me plenty of patience and confidence. Thank you, Amen.

Just Cos I'm Hungry

2011-02-15T12:32:00.002+08:00

Chinoz on the Park, KLCC.

Michaelangelo, Mont Kiara

Super duper hungry now - I could just lick the screen. Why do I torture myself?

Strung Out

2011-02-14T19:35:00.003+08:00

I'm glad that I got called for an unexpected nightstop yesterday cos it was a blessing in disguise! :D

I got a super nice set of crew and not only that, there were only 22 pax in EY today! So we did our super NSD service and spoiled everyone!

OKay! I think I've got wayyyyyyyyyyy too many exclamation marks going on! Abit strung out cos someone kept me up most of the night and didn't have enough rest time due to the early 4am wake up call! And 3 sectors today kept me busy too.

I wish I could just lie on my super comfy IKEA comforter and just fall asleep but ..............................

PPPPPffffftttttttttttt. Nasib aku offday esok.

Clueless

2011-02-12T08:56:00.004+08:00

Screwed up big time.

I have no idea what to do. Clueless!

Where can I get a huge quantity of clues and ideas? Does it come in a box and I have to pour it out in a bowl, pour milk all over it and eat it? Perhaps I could find it in the cereal aisle in the supermarket.

Oh! And a can courage too!

We Like What We're Not Supposed To

2011-02-10T02:52:00.001+08:00

I shouldn't. I really shouldn't.

Perfect Gifts hint hint

2011-02-09T19:38:00.003+08:00

A pair of Louboutin heels would make me happy for eternity. I dont need a ring on my finger - just slip these on my feet and I'll be yours forever. LOL!

A Swatch ... just coz its the only thing I can wear that is fashionable.

Calvin Klein's Beauty. I'm in love. Too bad the price is not in love with me.

Caught a whift of this Chanel Chance and I wont mind having it just for that special occasion.

Finally, a trip to KK please. I have my reasons :)

I'm Not A DramaMama

2011-02-09T01:22:00.004+08:00

I try to keep my life simple and fuss free. I don't get myself involved in anybody's dramas because I hate complications. Eventhough most would say I am talkACTIVE, I keep to myself most of the time - preferring the company of my BB or Leon the lappy (yes, I am VERY attached to my laptop n phone - inanimate objects gives you less stress than humans). I don't butt into people's biznezzz or join in conversations that I know I'm not a part of. Perhaps you could call it my anti-social side *well wadayya know, I have an anti-social side* but that's me in a nutshell.

Paling gago pun dengan my close friends and family.

When I get dragged into unnecessary dramas unexpectedly, it burns me out. Dah la drama yang sik berkait langsung dengan aku. Especially after a long day, all I want to do is flop on my bed and passout. I'm not one to get annoyed easily but prick me enough, I'll blow up in ur face and be direct absolutely direct with you *this coming from me who rarely express my true feelings*. Then after I tell you off, then I feel bad pulak thinking kenakkkk ka aku polah kedak ya. Mun nya polah aku kedak ya, nak kah sakit ati ku juak kelak? Then I ponder all day about it and all that shit. Then I think why should I feel bad? Bukan hal aku pun. Then I get mad at you/related parties. Then I bad mood. Then ... the list goes on and on and on.

= see? Unnecessary stress.

Dont want to sound corny but from the famous Avril song, I quote: "Why'd you have to go and make things so complicated?"

CHILL LA BEB!

Amoi Cina

2011-02-06T23:00:00.003+08:00

Sedap sangat ka Joy orange juice?

I think the CG/DG put some jampi/spell into it that makes this people wont stop asking for it! Especially two pax in particular - same faces that keep on pressing the call button, asking for the same thing over and over about a dozen times. I mean, I'm not stingy on the juice/nuts/water/pillow/blanket/tissue/nuts but REALLY people, REALLY? 12 times? For juice? Might as well hand you the whole carton. Jauh tau nak jalan ke hulur ke hilir dari galley ke seat ko tu! *cheh awal2 dah complain. hahahah*

But despite all that, I truly enjoyed myself (chewah! saving my own ass! hahahaha) cos it was a Chinese flight and I got to learn a little Mandarin here and there cos most of the pax didn't speak/understand English. Bantai lah Mandarin yang aku tauk.

Most overused line of the day : "Wo bu hui jiang hua yi!!!" *insert big smile here*

They were amused by the fact that I looked Chinese but ... yeah, AM NOT Chinese. I got half of the pax asking/saying the exact same thing: "But you look like Chinese! How can not speak Chinese?!"

For the sake of this career, I am going to take up learning new languages! *determined look*

1. Mandarin

2. Cantonese (wah! ambitious!)

3. Tamil? Urdu? Hindi? (wahhhh over ko maria!)

4. French

Who knew I'd be studying harder once I start working?

At least I can say that I truly do enjoy studying all this.

Thank God for such an awesome opportunity!

Ok time to pengsan now. Standby bright n early again tmrw. Harap2 nitestop this time. *fingers clasped together tightly praying hard!*

Solo

2011-02-05T20:23:00.002+08:00

1st solo was ... not too shabby.

I did my best - went all out, and came back exhausted.

Ready, Set, Fly!

2011-02-03T12:11:00.001+08:00

Batch 09/10 has finally graduated on 1st February 2011. 78 days of laughter joys tears and tantrums - everyone made it!

Decadence

2011-02-01T00:13:00.002+08:00

Butterscotch Bread Pudding. 1st attempt.

- its a party in your mouth!!!

2nd Last Day

2011-01-31T22:28:00.004+08:00

Had the best time ever today - reuniting with the crazy bunch.

The full dressed rehearsal was today and we were totally scattered all over the place due to not practicing for 4 weeks! Its was dancing mayhem!

But our costumes were awhhhsummmmmm! Totally stole the show. Even with our awful dancing.

But of course, I wouldnt be caught dead wearing the outfit any other time!

Hm - I'm not sure what's up with with all the exclamation marks. Perhaps I'm still hyper from all the Daim cake that I had at Ikea earlier. Cant believe I finished a whole slice by myself. With every bite - my mind was screaming at me to STOP EATING YOU PIGGGGGGGG! And yet - every single crumb was licked clean from my bright blue plastic ikea kiddy plate.

It wouldve been fabulous to have the whole 19 set there, but unfortunately only 5 made it. I'm planning a graduation after party tomorrow night - but I'm still unsure where to go. Tuesday night? Doesn't make much of a party in town. But hopefully we'll manage to secure a place cozy enough to fill up with 30+ people and we'll party the night away.

HOyeahhhh! I'm graduating for REALZ tomorrow!

Drifter

2011-01-30T22:32:00.002+08:00

Looking at next months' roster is making me sad.

I've got a whole two days off for valentines and no one here to spend it with. I wouldn't want to venture out to the malls (or even out my door) on that day cos I'm gonna probably feel like killing every single couple in sight.

Jealous much? Oh yes.

I'm probably gonna stock on chocs and snacks the night before and watch chick-flicks all day in bed.

/sadface

Graduate!

2011-01-30T14:03:00.003+08:00

A lazy rainy Sunday spent at home, sipping hot chocolate and catching up on shows I've missed and most importantly - spending it with family.

Better enjoy it as long as possible cos Sundays to come wouldn't be so luxurious!

Can't believe I'm practically done with training! Here comes my sky high career, and I cant wait to see the world! *cheh cliche much? heh*

I'm graduating in TWO days! Sucks that my parents couldn't make it, but hopefully with this new job, I'd be able to provide them with all the little luxuries that I can afford (lawyer sik lari - struktur ayat mesti betol in order to protect own interest! ha!)